Reaction Is Not Response

  You know those commercials where if you need something you can just push the Easy Button?  I wish they were real!

  Newtown CT. School shooting is tragic and horrifying to all of us.  It is important after the normal process of grieving  outrage, and reaction, to take a step back and talk about tragedies like this with a calm rational perspective.   Not the usual talking that takes place during the event, which is talking at each other.

  Shouting over one and other to be heard and not listening is a normal part of dealing with such incomprehensible actions.  But we often forget an important part of the healing process, which is to listen.  This is probably the most important part of the healing process, arguably anyway.

  For example, Sussex County Delaware has to decided to put Guards in all it's schools to combat any future such events.  What they failed to do is take a step back and discuss the problem in an intellectual manner.  Which is ironic because all School systems in America are supposed to be based in intellectual thought.

  The words Guard and Combat should never be used as a solution for Schools.  Delaware has a created it's own reputation of putting metal detectors, guards, and police officers in it's High Schools, and as a result they have grown increasingly more violent.

  Yes, as a result!  A Schools intent is to develop and shape young minds.  And that's just what Delaware has done.  By treating Students as inferiors through searches, threats and constant scrutiny, we have developed in them a prisoner mentality.

  Walking through metal detectors and being searched does not make anyone feel safe.  We know it makes us safer because we are rational adults with the ability to discern the proper coarse needed to be safe.  But we don't feel it, we discern it.  Yet we expect children to be able to do the same.  They can't. Not yet anyway.  Not without experience.  And experience is what separates the men from the boys so to speak.

  I don't know what the correct answer is for making our Schools safer and no one person does either.  That will take rational adult conversations with as many people as possible, and the most important ingredient of all "listening".

  What I do know is, a child does not see the world as adults do.  Daily exposure to guards, gates and detectors will never inspire creativity.  Which is something else Schools are meant to do.  You can't open minds by locking doors.

  We don't currently have an answer for tragedies like Newtown, and we are not likely to have one any time soon, until we stop Reacting and start Responding.

A Commentary by Ben Stein

Gone, are the day's of rational behavior!

Where does the voice of reason reside?

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

 My confession:

 I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat...

 Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

 In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

 In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school... The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK

 Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.. And we said okay..

 Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

 Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

 Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

 Are you laughing yet?

 Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

 Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

 Pass it on if you think it has merit.

 If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.



 My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

 Ben Stein

My Thoughts

My Grandfather left Ireland for America at the age of sixteen.  He was born and raised on a peninsula jutting out into the North Sea.  Under constant barrage of Atlantic gales and Arctic ice storms.  At first glance it's a harsh unforgiving land, where it seems nothing could survive.

   Trees are scarce due to the relentless winds.  Thistle, and Whay with thorns the size of ten penny nails grow in the only fertile soil available.  Heather clings to life in the cracks of rocks that have been there since the beginning of time.  A land where there were no fields, only bed rock.  The people would clear the smaller stones to use as fences, and the larger ones for building, houses, sheds and barns.  

   They would bring seaweed and sand up from the shore to compost and spread out on the bedrock to create their own soil to grow the food they needed.  Every day families would walk to the sea to gather the seaweed and sand, into wicker baskets loaded onto donkey carts and transport it miles away to make the fields.

   This endeavor was the first thing that came to mind when I first heard Republicans in America use the term "We built this".  So I immediately called bull shit on this farce.  Try making dirt from rock, and then I'll listen to what you have to say.

   My Grandfather came from a world where his religion was illegal, his culture, music, songs and art were forbidden and speaking his native tongue was punishable by death.  In fact decades later far from British spies, when he would speak Irish, he did so in hushed tones as if someone might overhear.  So at the age of sixteen with no more than a fifth grade education he decided to leave his home and all that he new for a chance at a better life.  

   He arrived at Ellis Island with two of his brothers, however Pat had contracted influenza and was not permitted into the U.S.  Pat was given the choice to go to Canada.  Being British citizens they were granted access due to the fact that Canada was a subject of the Crown.  Pat could not have made the trip to Canada alone, so John decided to go with him.  After saying their goodbyes my Grandfather entered New York City.  Uneducated, sixteen, and alone.  

   My Grandfather told me that the first words spoken to him by an American as he stepped off the ferry from Ellis Island to New York were "Another talking monkey".  He had arrived in a land where there were signs in every window stating "we don't hire Irish" "we don't rent to Irish" and "Irish go home".  He had left a land that hated him, traveled thousands of miles, weeks at sea to arrive in a land that hated him just as much.

    The Irish have a way of looking out for each other, so he was able to find some work here and there, but nothing steady.  Just when things were at there worst, help came from an unexpected place.  A man he new as a sworn enemy in the old country told him of work in Philadelphia.  My Grandfather new this man, had grown up with him, but the two never spoke a word to each other until now.  There's was a family feud that went so far back no one could remember how it started.

   So these two men, who at one time would have literally killed each other in the name of family honor, made there way to Philadelphia and formed a friendship that would last a life time and eventually join our two families.   When you are alone, with the entire world against you, a life time of hatred can be forgotten very quickly.  

   As you may have noticed, my Grandfather was a larger than life figure to me.  But he was by no means perfect.  The time in which he lived, and the manner in which he was treated by the people in the Countries he called home, had left him a bigoted man.  He may have been able to over come this if it weren't for his limited education, and impressionable age.  I am not making excuses, only pointing out his circumstances.

   His individual beliefs and the rules he set for his house, were not the same as what he showed the public.  Some may call this two faced, but I would disagree.  What happened to him throughout his life only served to strengthen his belief that we all deserve to be treated as equals, and that we all came here to be left alone to live our lives as we see fit.

   In many ways he was a reflection of America it self.  No matter our individual needs and wants we respect the fact that our Government is a higher moral standard, and set our own goals to meet that.  We may not believe in Civil Rights or same sex marriage, but we aspire to accept them, thanks to that standard.

   I have always admired my Grandfather for that.  Let me put it this way.  Is it easier to accept the lifestyles of those different from you, when you are not prejudice or when you are prejudice.  Yes my Grandfather was prejudice, but he strove, sometimes successfully sometimes not, to accept people who were different than him, but he always treated them as equals.  And that, in my opinion is admirable.

   So yes he is a larger than life figure to me.  He is the yard stick by which I measure my own life.  I am proud to say that in many ways I have surpassed my Grandfather, but in some ways I've never measured up.

   I believe for the most part I've overcome prejudice and bigotry, but that is something that can only be measured by others and not oneself.  But I am not as strong as he was.  I never heard him complain.  Not once.   I remember him driving me and my Grandmother home from the Market, and we got a flat tire.  Without some much as disappointed look he simply pulled the car over and changed the tire.

   When he was diagnosed with Colon Cancer, he took it in stride, never uttering a word.  After the brutal and invasive surgery to remove it, I watched him climb the stairs to his bedroom where he stayed for two weeks.  Fifteen minutes it took him to climb twelve stairs.  Not a single grunt, groan, or moan.  Not even a Huff as he stopped to gather his strength for the next step.

    This isn't an excuse for bigotry, rather it's a condemnation of it.  If a man born into the worst form of poverty and raised to know only hatred, can struggle his entire life to rid himself of it, then what excuse do the people who embrace it have?  What justification can intelligent, educated people born into wealth possibly have to welcome prejudice into their hearts?  No, there is no excuse.

   It's very simple.  In order to save our society, we must be tolerant of everything but intolerance.  

   

    

Paths

 
The first time I visited my family in Ireland, my cousin took me to a harsh and rugged piece of land that didn't seem capable of supporting human life . It was the home of my Grandfather, or at least the area where he was born and raised, and it was the most beautiful vista I had ever laid eyes on.

   It was both inhospitable and magnificent.  I have been a lot of places and seen a lot of gorgeous vistas, but none compared to that one.  My cousin then ask me, "Billy, did you ever imagine that you would be standing right here where it all started for us"?  He said "this is the land where all McLaughlins came from.  This is where our blood line goes back to a time even before last names were used".  I was so moved that I didn't realize I was speaking, and was surprised when I heard the word "No" come out of my mouth.

    I guess this snapped me out of what ever shock I was in, because I began to tell him I never expected to be anywhere.  I never thought in a million years I would have what I have, a home, a family, anything.  I always thought I would grow up and live on the same street, in the same city I was born in.  I never expected to have a wonderful wife, three amazing children, and a bevy of beautiful grandchildren.

   Our home is no Palace by any means but it is my Castle, and that's enough for me.  But that's what can happen in America. At least the America I grew up in.  A boy with very little education, no connections, and even less money can make a place for himself.  This is probably the main thing that separates us from the rest of the world.  It can not be done without work and for that we need jobs. Good jobs, with good benefits and the chance for advancement.

   This is something we are sorely lacking now a days.  This is why my Grandfather came to America.  When I was in Ireland, I walked along an old path that lead from the sea to the main town.  The English paid my Grandfather to take stones from the pebble beach and spread them out on that path, paving the road all the way to town.  Every day he would shovel stones into a 4 foot by 4 foot donkey cart and shovel it back out onto the path. And when he was done it needed replenishing, and he would start all over.  If he missed a day, he would be replaced, and lose that job.

    I look at Companies in America today and I see the same mentality my Grandfather wished to escape.  My Grandfather grew up in a world where his religion, culture and language were illegal, and work was a privilege, so you'd better be grateful for what you got.

    Congratulations Corporate America, you have guided us directly onto the path that caused the collapse of the British Empire.

The Right to Complain

   I can not believe the level of hatred and bigotry in this country.  While reading the business and economic news from various periodicals, I also look through the comments section per chance to find an intelligent and viable idea on how we as a Nation might proceed, to fix our woes and spur growth to create jobs.  Which are desperately needed.

   I usually find the same old blame game with some bright ideas sprinkled here and there.  But lately it's all been acrid slander spilling onto the page before me as if everybody at the party decided to vomit all at the same time.

   When did we become a Nation of complainers?  I understand the value of complaining.  Everyone needs something to complain about.  It's the natural order of things.  It helps to relieve stress when we're frustrated, angry and sometimes it's even helpful when we are bored.  You know, spices things up a bit.  But this is getting out of  control.  It's all the time.  Everyone is complaining and no one is doing anything about it.
There has to be a balance.  And the tone of complaining is astounding.  Vile, irreverent hatred coming from everywhere.

   It's often said that we have a right to complain.  If no one complained, we never would have had the American Revolution.  But to complain without action is fruitless.  By action I mean positive progressive steps forward.  Not holding our breath, stomping our feet, or even worse, do what ever it takes to get our way no matter who gets hurt.  Because I'm here to tell you,  complaining combined with negative hurtful actions is a cocktail for disaster.  I've seen the results of that for myself.  We all have.

   In the early hours of September 11th 2001 some 3000 people died in an hour and forty five minutes because of such a cocktail of closed minded hatred and selfishness.  Think about that for a minute.  1 hour and 45 minutes.  3000 mothers, fathers, sons  daughters, aunts, uncles, soldiers  firefighters, police, CEO's accountants, and janitors, gone.  For what?

   So we can cry about having to pay higher taxes?  So we can whine about who the real Americans are?  Did hundreds of thousands of families have their lives irrevocably changed so we could blame each other incessantly?

   We should be ashamed of ourselves.  If we as Americans were watching another country go through this we'd be disgusted and appalled at such childish behavior.  We should be honoring those men and women, as well as the military personnel who are fighting for us, and the ones that paid the ultimate price.

   We should be showing them that America is worth saving.  But instead we threaten Revolution and secession.  Running away from a problem never solved anything.  Working together will solve them all.

Conservatives

It is entirely possible to be conservative and be a caring, feeling, normal human being. Time was conservatives did care about others. They had their way and respected the fact that you had yours. I think most conservatives are still that way. We just don't realize it, because they are drowned out by right wing fanatics. In fact, I don't think they should call themselves conservative any more. You can't be a fanatic and conservative at the same time. Intentionally or not, they've sullied the very meaning of the word.  And about all the controversy lately over Famous personalities supporting conservatives. I say leave them alone. They've made their own decision and we should respect that.  Don't we ask for the same respect?  If you're deciding peoples votes for them, your in the wrong country.  It seems like everybody is so busy shouting to be heard they don't realize, nobody is listening to any one.  It's bad enough the politicians stopped listening to us, now we aren't even listening to each other.   I'm not a conservative but I respect their right to live as they see fit.  I only ask they do the same.  As for the Ultra Right Wing Extremist I say to you, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So if you want to be berated, assaulted, belittled and humiliated, than by all means carry on.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Chilly Nights

It was a chilly day today, and even a chillier night.  So I decided to give my grandson his first fire. It has become and Autumn tradition with me to start an inaugural fire in our fireplace for my grandchildren.  Every new grandchild born, is introduced to his or her first fire when Fall rolls around.  Their very own, just for them. It's not something I planned, it just sort of worked out that way.  At least it didn't start that way, it has evolved into a tradition.  I will tell you now, that I have celebrated this tradition far to many times for a man my age, but I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.  There are few things I look forward to more than The Lighting of the Hearth.  For me it rivals the smell of Turkey roasting on Thanksgiving, or the scent of pine needles on Christmas morning.  Surprisingly, everyone looks forward to it.  My wife, even my children who are well into their twenties, get excited.   Each grandchild is fascinated as I place the logs and mesmerized as the flames grow into a glowing ball of warmth.  I remember every expression on every face.  They sit on my knee and, silently listening to the crackle of the wood.  I don't know how long we sit there, but I know it is a fleeting moment in time that seems to last forever.  If you don't know how those two opposites can exist at the same time, then I hope someday you will.  And if you do, well, then you do.